Jet Black New Year by Thursday explodes through the PA system as the crowd boos in anticipation of Creative Control. Suddenly, a bloody man is thrust through the curtain and rolls down the ramp, followed closely behind by Steve-E, Slegnadamus, and T. Ekstreme, mic in hand.
Ekstreme: Introducing, weighing in at nobody cares, the carcass himself, BOLTON!
Steve-E smiles as he lifts the man, revealing him to be an already bloodied Bolton.
SoR: What the hell! This is wrong! First we learn Steve-E wasn't even paralyzed and now they attack this man backstage! This is digsusting! I never expected even Creative Control to sink this low!
Edible: Its not sinking its brilliance. Its rising to the occasion!
The team lifts the seemingly lifeless body of Bolton into the ring, tossing him in violently. Slegnadamus follows him in and sets Bolton up for a powerbomb. Slegnadamus then hits his Psychic Vision manuver, a powerbomb GTS. As Bolton lays prone on the mat, Slegna covers him.
Ekstreme: Ring the bell and count the damn match!
The ref looks on upset as the bell rings.
SoR: This is a travesty!
Edible: ONE TWO THREE! YES!
Slegnadamus (6.8 aps - 0.3 penalty + 2.2 avs = 8.7 total)
Bolton (0.0 aps + 0.2 avs = 0.2 total)
Ekstreme: And in another testament to our greatness, Slegnadamus scores a win in THREE seconds. I think this is safe to say that its the fastest time in FMW PPV history. Maybe even FMW history! Another item to add to our long list of accolades.
Steve-E enters the ring and lifts Slegna's arm in triumph.
Ekstreme: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner and future half of FMW Tag Team Champions, SLEGNADAMUS!
The crowd boo as the trio smile center of the ring. The ref tends to Bolton as the camera cuts to backstage.
Backstage Action Jackson stands with Full Metal Wrestling SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR, Christian G. Smitten. Jackson: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAOW! Whats happenin y'all? Its ya boy Action Jackson backstage with one of the top superstars in FMW today! Christian G. Smitten you asked- Smitten grabs the mic from Jacksons' hands Smitten: One of? ONE OF? It seems that whatever education you were provided you didnt take full advantage of, because if you heard correctly, I am THE Full Metal Wrestling Superstar of the YEAR! Not one of, not number two, THE Superstar of the year and I will be addressed as such, which is part of the issue why I am here. Smitten pushes Jackson off the shot. Smitten: So you see, I was puzzled at this upcoming event. I wanted to know why me, Christian G. Smitten, FMW superstar of the year, would not be in the main event of the biggest show of the year. I sat and pondered. I racked my brain for hours on end. There were nights where I couldn't sleep. A Main event without the main star? How can that be? Then I realized something. I AM in the main event! Obviously, being this companies top star, I AM in the main event because I AM the main event, but why wouldn't my match be officially called the main event? Is it because theres no fance stipulation? No gold belts? No. Its because of Eric Scorpio. You see, Eric Scorpio is such a has-been, dare I say nearly a nobody, in this federation since his epic failure as focal point of the Original Sin, he has fallen so far into the category of 'black hole of suck' that he has literally dragged me, the companies brightest star, down with him. Well, tonight, I wont stand for that injustice. I AM THE MAIN EVENT! I am Christian G. Smitten! Tonight I declare that my match, against whatever lackluster opponent they can throw at me, will be the defacto main event and anything after is not officially FMW sanctioned material. I mean, without me in it, whatelse is there to- Smitten is suddenly cut off as Eric Scorpio charges into the shot, spearing Smitten through the FMW backdrop. The two men quickly get up and brawl, tossing each other around the backstage area. Scorpio lifts a trash can and dumps the contents on Smitten, who then lands a swift low blow to Scorpio. As Smitten lifts a nearby hammer a group of wrestlers and security rush the two and separate them from the fight. Anarchy GM Celeste Russeau enters the shot. Celeste: What the hell is wrong with you two!? You are banned from even so much as looking at each other for the remainder of the night until your match! If one of you even so much as thinks about doing anything before your scheduled time, I will see to it that both of you are removed from the building and FMW all together! Have I made myself clear!?
Smitten and Scorpio continue to glare at each other, neither speaking a word. The camera focuses on the mass of people as the scene cuts to the ring.
Redneck by Lamb of God plays through the speakers as Budd Darrell makes his way to the FMW ring.
SoR: Budd is a relative unknown here but what we do know about him is all bad. The man is pure trash, simple as that.
Edible: You expect something else to come out of Alabama besides trash?
SoR: I expect people to uphold some sort of morality.
As Budd enters the ring, he glares at SoR before leaning over the ropes and spitting on his face.
Edible: Oh, wow...
SoR: Are you kidding me?
As SoR wipes the saliva from his face, Asshole by Dennis Leary pumps through the PA system. Tommy Strife makes his way from backstage to the ring.
Edible: I cant tell whos the bigger asshole in here.
SoR: I can easily.
Edible: Dont let the fact that Budd's racist blind you to the fact that Strife has a huge egotistical problem. The type of which I fully support.
SoR No, f*ck this. I don't get paid enough for this kind of garbage.
Edible Sir, as the senior commentator, you get paid more than me. And I'm paid well enough to put up with that, so you certainly are.
SoR Look at him, tossing around the "n" word to the crowd.
Edible Are there any black people here in Canada?
SoR There's one right here!
Edible No, no... but hey, Strife getting the crowd angry as well. He's tossing around the "c" word... the one they named a hockey team after.
SoR It's no more offensive than the Redskins.
Edible Repo! Language!
SoR What? Are you serious?
Edible Strife outside the ring, and he's slapping a fan ringside. And from the looks of it, a fatty.
SoR Budd rolls to the outside as well, and looks right at a fan. Holy tapdancing christ on a cracker, he just whipped out his gentitals, and is telling her to.... um... perform fellati*.
Edible That's not very sporting of Budd, I must say.
SoR Strife ripping a Canadian flag out of the hands of a fan, and now he's eating it!
Strife spits it out and exclaims "tastes like maple-flavored sh*t!"
Edible Which man can be the better antagonist?
SoR Budd with a forearm from behind! He reigns right hands down on Strife, now with a few kicks against the guardrails.
Budd takes a beer from a fan and dumps it on Strife. He then tells the fan to "sober up, n****r-lover"
Edible I don't condone such language, and neither do these wretched fans. It's so hard to root for anyone here.
SoR Budd rolls Strife into the ring, and slides in, this match might finally go somewhere.
Edible Perhaps with some actual wrestling moves.
SoR SMALL PACKAGE FROM NOWHERE! ONE...TWO... NO!
Edible Woah, something not out of a street fighter's repetoire.
SoR Budd comes back with a clothesline. Now with a lunging forearm. Budd with the cover, ONE... no! Quick kickout from Strife. And a few more quick punches from Budd. Strife tries to cover up, and the ref pulls Bud off.
Edible I don't think Budd actually has ever performed a legitimate wrestling move in his time in FMW. I might be wrong, but I doubt it.
SoR Budd again goes for the clothesline, but Strife ducks it and nails a powerslam off the rebound! Cover! ONE... TWO... NO!
Edible I think... I'll root for the guy that does wrestling maneuvers.
SoR Quick headlock from Strife, trying to slow down the wild Budd. Budd fighting it, he's working his way up... back suplex into the turnbuckles!
Edible That's 3... count them... 3 wrestling moves in this match.
SoR Budd up, and he's stomping a mudhole in the chest of Strife, at least until the ref breaks them up.
Edible And we're back to the brawling
SoR Budd tries a spear, but Strife is out of the way. Roll-up by Strife, he's got the tights! The ref doesn't see it! ONE-TWO... KICK OUT!
Edible I'd like to apologize to the people at home for that flash of male backside, it was completely inappropriate. Kicking out of a roll-up doesn't give you much choice in the matter.
SoR Budd tries to get some distance, but Strife closes in... and gets a pucnh to the gonads! The ref didn't see that either!
Edible The referee is not very observant, is he?
SoR Budd to his feet, kick to the midsection, he pulls in Strife, but Strife gives him a northern lights suplex!
Edible A wonderful counter to the DDT, and that DDT is Budd's finisher, so that's also a timely counter.
SoR Strife with another headlock, Budd quickly elbows him to loosen the grip. Jawbreaker!
Edible Man, this is starting to resemble real wrestling!
SoR Budd off the ropes, and hits a clothesline.
Edible He's starting to repeat moves. His repetoire isn't very deep, is it?
SoR Budd goes for another clothesline. Knee to the gut of Budd. A third headlock from Strife on Budd. This time Budd looks a bit tired.
Edible The submissions from Strife aren't very varied, but they are effective.
SoR Budd drops to his knees and gets a snapmare off as a counter. Budd with a mule kick to Strife. Strife staggers into the ropes, Budd goes for a clothesline, but catches nothing but rope. Another headlock from Strife.
Edible The crowd is getting angry, they're not liking this.
SoR Budd snags the lower rope with his leg, and Strife has to break the hold.
Edible Budd looks damn tired, this sleeper hold stategy is working.
SoR Budd stumbles to his feet. Big boot from Strife, who flips off the crowd.
Someone in the crowd yells "Put him in another headlock! To which Strife agrees. He turns around and...
Edible Look out!
SoR DDT from Budd! Here's the cover! One...two...THREE! Budd wins!
Budd Darrell (7.34 aps + 1.8 avs = 9.14 total)
Tommy Strife (7.32 aps + 1.0 avs = 8.32 total)
As Budd celebrates, his music is cut off by Sick of it All by Fingereleven and current #1 Contender, Alex O'Rion. He makes his way to the ring and grabs the mic from Buster Cherry. O'Rion: Hurry up and get the hell out of my ring you assholes, I've got an important topic to discuss. Hurry... Budd looks at O'Rion as Strife rolls out of the ring. O'Rion: GO! SoR: What the hell does this guy want!? Edible: Shut your mouth, he's allowed to be wherever he wants! Budd glares as he walks up the ramp followed by a battered Tommy Strife. O'Rion enters the ring and takes center stage.[/i] [b]O'Rion Nick Bryson. SoR: What? What did he do to Bryson!? O'Rion: You see, tonight will be the last night of Nick Bryson's life because he is stepping in the ring with the hungriest, most vicious person in the world, myself. You see, tonight is a big night. Its the FMW hall of fame and we have some big names in there, but I'm going to go ahead and add one more. Nick Bryson. Undoubtedly I will defeat Nick Bryson tonight and continue to go on shining. Bryson, however, will not. It is very, very likely that he will die and I dont want to spend another year listening to people moaning and complaining and bitching about how "Bryson was a fighting champion" and how "he deserves to be in the hall of fame" and that I am the "worst person in the world", etcetera, etcetera. So tonight, I decided that I will show you all that I care about you and that I know whats best for you, even when you dont know what that is. As champion, and representative of you all, I have made a special arrangement and have brought a little bit of a spoiler to the party. I am going to honor that bastard with what he doesn't ever deserve, just to make you all shut the hell up. Here is your first inductee to the FMW Hall Of Fame... "THE CLEVELAND CRIPPLER" NICK BRYSON! Nick Bryson In a career marked by controversy, pain, and failure, Nick Bryson seemed to be the brightest bulb in the dimmest box. From early on in his career, Bryson we set up for failure, living in the shadow and riding the coat tails of his cousin, Drew Michaels. If he was teaming in SPARTA or losing countless title shots, naimly the Television, Ultraviolent, and Tag titles, Bryson was destined to drown in his own tears of sweet failure. Bryson was able to climb to the top and achieve what nobody ever thought someone with his needs would be able to do, win the Full Metal Championship. However, Bryson's lax run as champion culminated when he propelled the brightest star of our generation to his deserved greatness, Alex O'Rion. When Alex O'Rion faced, and destroyed, Nick Bryson at Ultimatum 2, Bryson single handedly launched the greatest event that would happen to professional wrestling and the american culture. Launching the greatest performer of our generation to the status he deserved, Nick Bryson truely gave everything that could have been asked from him, including his life, and in doing so he cemented his place in the Full Metal Wrestling Hall of Fame class of 2009. O'Rion: I hope you're all satisfied. Enjoy the rest of the show. O'Rion drops the mic smiling as the image of Nick Bryson remains on the METALTron. He laughs as the scene fades to black.
FMW 2009 Hall of Fame Inductee
[size=85]Inducted by Alex O'Rion[/size]
